2.23.2011

Wisdom: Spank or Not to Spank, that is the question!

What a "hot button issue"! I love that every child is different and every parent is different! I will say this, we have five-six SHORT years to be the primary influence in our child's life (unless you home school); no matter the method, I want to take advantage of every training opportunity possible! (to clarify: of course I am not going to "check out" when they go to school- pretty sure I will be walking the halls!) ok, enough of me.... 
-CD: spank - but with an attitude of the spanking being FOR the child and not TO the child (best quote - "The child that does not learn to obey their parent's voice will have a hard time obeying God's voice." ~ Gary Ezzo
-CB: Following the Scriptures, I had a responsibility to train them up according to God's law.  That mean't when necessary and not in anger, you bet a spanking was in order.  They both are living and not scarred for life.  They learned to obedience.
-CC: I think you have to look at each child.  Some kids just need "the look" and others have to be shown consequences in a stronger manner and if you have one of those children then I think you sometimes have to spank.  Today especially, it seems that in our world there is no black and white, right or wrong, everything is in the gray area and there are no consequences.  I think we have to teach our children that there are consequences to everything and they have to be accountable.
-DW: Spank: seems like more spanking young age 1-5 meant less spanking after that
-JS: I've spanked when DANGEROUS situations are  involved (i.e. running in the street, etc.)
-SS: Spank
-BF: Spank......although I rarely did it.  They were good kids.  You need to set "boundaries" early in life.  Believe me, the kids want them!  After a certain age, it is both inappropriate and ineffective.
-BM: No spank
-AA: We kept the discipline of spanking for pretty major offenses.  But we did spank occasionally-with lots of love before and after.  We usually tried to discipline by taking away a privilege that was connected to the offense.
-CC2: Discipline example: “The boys like to set up Legos and other toys that have thousands of pieces, all of which they know they will get to pick up by the end of the day or the feared black "donation" trash sack will come out. Advise: Let them fear you, at least a little.”
-JM: I do think every child is different on what method of discipline is effective. For us, our first child has a strong will and we spanked a lot when she was 3-3.5 (after we tried time-out, taking things away, etc.. and those didn’t work) one day it just clicked, she didn’t want to be spanked anymore- now all we have to say is “make a choice how you want to act” and she almost always makes the right choice. My husband and I were just talking about how amazing it is that we haven’t spanked in a long time. Also, I always try to evaluate what is behind the “offense”- is it a result of disobedience, wanting attention, anxiety, selfishness, ungratefulness, disrespect, lack of self control, anger, lack of integrity, etc.... After everyone is calm, we discuss the issue behind the action. Results still to come!! :)

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